similar

goo jun pyo really reminds me of myself. haha. maybe that's why i like him so much. do you think it's weird that i resemble guys and not girls? like when i watched wake up sid,divya and nikki said that i was like sid and now i think i'm alot like this goo jun pyo. haha

Ever

my face burns when i'm embarrassed. it's really something not worth writing about but i was thinking of something and someone when it started to heat up. it burns. it really burns. these few days whenever i watch boys over flowers,my face starts to burn because of that certain someone. it's so childish. i know. but still.. somehow i think i'll never be able to get over him. ever. ah haha. i can be so subconsciously romantic. librans i guess. haha.

It's raining it's pouring

i'm still feeling totally guilty right now. i swear,about the whole bag thing. it keeps bugging me all the time and i know how i am ok? the second i feel stressed about something,i get all nauseos and i feel like my eyes have been permanently attached to some flashlight. on the plus side,my tighs are showing some sign of becoming thinner. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! ACK! i really wanna be thin! so far,i'm skipping breakfast and eating only lunch with two snacks before and after! i really REALLY hope it works!
went to cotton on with mamma today. one of the blue shorts i bought is seriously damn pretty! i hope the phuket trip doesn't put a damper on my losing weight! you know how i get when i see free food. hahahahha

i'm very sorry mamma!

i feel so rotten right now. honestly. i swear to god,i'm gonna stop shopping till promo 1s next year. i cannot believe how stupid i am to keep dissapointing mamma. it's not fair to her at all. i know that sometimes she can be unreasonable and as a result she can get on my nerves too,but for the most part,she's always been there for me without any complaints,without any demands. so it's honestly very sad that i have to dissapoint her almost on a weekly basis. the whole CTE thing was already such a huge blow and now my bank account has laughably very little money in it. how selfish can i get? i really am going to hand over the 200 dollars to mamma on the 7th of dec. sorry rameza, i can't go shopping with you!

thanks alot!

shit,i feel so damn guilty now. i bought a bag from river island yesterday for $133. and shit,i have no idea how to tell mamma. i mean after all that she's been telling me about our financial situation and all that she's been doing for me..i feel so guilty. i promise that the second i get my pay from the survey thing,i'm gonna put it all in the bank. i know. but whatever,i totally deserve no more shopping. the good thing about this blog is that i'm the only one who actually knows about it. which technically means that i can say whatever i want to without stepping on anyone's toes. not that i honestly care cuz some people's toes really do need some stepping on. like mine,for instance. haha.
anyway,i'm a little pissed off at divya. like why does she always only come to me for advice when something goes wrong? like does she really think that i've got nothing better to do than to sit around listen to her all the time? and it's not like i don't care or anything about her or any of my friends.. cuz well,it's me,i care about the hermit crabs living in sentosa. it's just that sometimes i feel as though,she doesn't really care about me. as do some other people. i don't know. maybe it's me..
yesterday's outing to sentosa was fun,i guess. i don't wanna be a party-pooper and say that it sucked because only 5 out of the 25 people i invited came. does that even make sense?? whatever,though.. the thing that really stung me though was that naqeah didn't come. and that kappa and tharanee didn't even bother making their outing photos private. like it was a 'in your face mythili,i'd rather choose my cousin than your boring sentosa outing' yeah,sure,you did. you and your spontaneous outing. i don't get it. you guys chose the bloody date. you guys bloody chose the venue. you guys bloody chose what to do. and then you guys bloody chose not to come.
whatever. from now,fuck class outings! fuck happy get together moments! i choose to go out with my other friends who're more trusting than the whole fucking class!

Becoming Mythili

it's really truly annoying when you're trying to make an effort and people don't appreciate it. i haven't had anyone close to me die ok? it's not like i can relate on a personal basis to that. i mean,seriously,it's not like i'm some kind of a teenage oprah who can magically think of the right words to say at the right point of time. it's not funny.
and when i confide to people that i'm realll averse to all things medical,i fucking mean it. i don't like it when people make fun of it to such an extent. and to actually support something like this? it could be funny,it really could be.. except that it's not!
Maybe this whole PMS thing was invented so that women could have a legitimate reason as to why they were suddenly getting brainwaves of a different frequency. It was probably created by some male chauvinist who couldn't think of an appropriate reason as to why his wife was suddenly more outspoken than him and Bang! The Big Red Theory was born! tsk! why are men such pigs anyway? most men,to say the least. i mean,just because some things don't the way you planned it,what,women are stupid,shallow and idiotic? and don't even get me started on the whole illogical thing. at least when a woman gets pissed off,she gossips. get a man pissed off and you have afghanistan on a whole new level. Right.
Anyway,about this whole class gathering thing: people reply! does it take much for you to say if you're coming,not coming or maybe coming?? it could really help! And why the fuck do i have to be in charge of this whole thing? i could be not caring the whole time and things would stay just as sucky as if i had been totally involved. it really does take two fucking hands to clap.
and just so you know,she's so NOT pretty! i could be blind with a penis and i still wouldn't ask that whiny,idiotic thing out. not to be subjective,of course!